Author: supernovanne

He lives in our memories

Let me, tell you a story 
It’s not my own 
But it has changed me 
Stayed with me for years 
 
Imagine cold, darkness and snow 
Imagine work and death, 
It’s XX-century, Siberia, Russia 
Yes, it’s this kind of a story 
 
But it’s not only about death 
There is also love and friendship 
But no happy ending, not in this world 
This different, strange world 
 
A Man betrayed by his own country 
Who believed in holy ideas 
Who wanted to cure the West 
Only to be taken from his mother as a traitor 
 
He had this strange relationship 
With French books 
He loved them and despised them 
Those little glimpses of freedom 
 
Yet, he loved his country 
Believed in big ideas 
He never expected that his little glimpses 
Will lead him behind the bars 
 
And our narrator, 
He didn’t believe in such ideas 
Instead he seemed to just be forgotten 
By his country, people, God 
 
The Man finds a way of surviving 
By putting his hand into a fire 
Like a sword a smith wants to forge 
Our narrator becomes a witness to that process 
 
They share tales about books, ideas, world 
The become friends, share love so strong 
That our narrator wants to take His place 
When the time comes 
 
But that is not how this world works 
It’s not a novel of manners 
Yet there is an irony in this 
A kind you can find in literature 
 
He was supposed to see his mother beforehand 
Because even if his country doesn’t need him 
She would give everything to have him back 
There is no meeting, instead he decides to leave on his own terms 
 
He doesn’t die how he leaved 
Scorching hot water flowing over him 
Yet we shall remember Him with sword out of flame 
Loved and idealistic till the end

You still have hope

When you grow with a hole inside you
It doesn’t get smaller
It grows with you
Black pit that seems endless

You put things inside
Friends, clothes, make-up, stories you’ve read
All of them drown
Too heavy not to fall

You try to fill it with dirt
Quick romance, alcohol, distractions
They seem to fly over it 
Never even touching  

This black hole doesn’t like
Memories you would better forget
It only eats those
Which keep you calm

You live next to it
Around it
Sitting on the bank 
Wandering how long is the way down

You had expected to get rid of it
As you grew up
Yet it seems like this is your only friend
Always staying by your side

You often feel alone, especially here
There is no one beside you inside your head
Only you and this dark hole
Taking more and more space

You’ve considered letting go
Finding how far is the way
Maybe you will sprout wings
Pearly feathers dancing around

You will then fly away 
Forget about  the past
Reach this promised land
You only visit in your dreams

But you know that it’s a one-way road
Only leading deeper and deeper inside
Even know you are too deep
And you don’t know if it’s worth the risk

So you sit next to it
Dreaming of wings and better worlds
One day you may take a leap down
But it’s not today

And I still hear its echo

In my dream 
I was in love
With a boy with skin like stardust
And eyes full of hope

We took over the world
Found new friends
Fought our enemies
Conquered the stars

My boy had a smile
Like set of razors side by side
Ready to cut down
Anyone who opposed us

He loved me 
With his whole heart
Made me a queen
Of the universe I’ve made up

We travelled together
 In a ship made of comets
Sharing our vision
With other planets

Sometimes we lingered
In our beautiful garden
With plants of every kind
I could sit there for hours
There were troubles in our paradise
Revolts, wars, a plague or two
Yet with his sharp mind
We always found a way out

His hands wrinkled with time
No longer a boy, but always in my heart
We had no children, but our legacy
Would survive in the memory of millions

Eyes bright like the sun
Turned into supernovas alike
He would sit by my side
As I read aloud

I grew old too
Joints squeaking with every move
Eyes no longer recognising
Our flowers from afar

Then there came a day
When he couldn’t get up
So, I stayed by his side
Worrying that this moment would be our last

He wanted to tell me something
Something to remember him by
With fragile hands he took my face
His skin feeling like sand

My heart was crying for him
Yet, I tried to look strong
He opened his lips
Letting out a breath…

That’s when I woke up
Lying inside my bed
My love dying alone somewhere in my mind

I tried to get back,
To know what he wanted to say
Yet as time moved on
I couldn’t even remember his face

Only the stars that shone above us
As we lied on the grass
His quiet breath as I read him
A story about us